Let me introduce you to a friend that has been plagued with a puzzling question. She wonders, "What exactly am I doing with this guy?" and "What is the etiquette when it comes to this situation?"
She simply wanted to meet someone, therefore one day she decided to open an online profile to meet people. Simple enough, soon the responses flooded her inbox, some good, some bad, some ugly. After a couple of months she met someone that she liked enough to meet in person.
After about a week of texting and talking on the phone they decided to meet.
Then came the dates, about 3 times a week.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday...they spent together.
After the first week together she noticed the he removed his online profile, later telling her that he seriously wanted to try this with her, therefore he saw no reason to continue searching. (She smiled on the inside at the thought of this)
After two more weeks out of fun she went back to the site to see that he has once again opened his online profile. She did not know how to react. What is this suppose to mean? Can I even bring it up?
She brought it up lightly, he simple said " I like to read my inbox every now and then that is all, I am happy with what we have."
She left it alone, but here is the thing, she is still bothered by this. She knows the he is on that site about once a day, of course she has kept checking it.
Here is my questions to you all.
What do you think about this situation? What doe sit mean? Does she even have a right to say anything? To tell him to erase it completely? Is it cheating, or intent to cheat? What would you do?
What is the etiquette when you meet someone through a dating site? When do you bring down the profiles?
Ok, too many people keep thinking this is about me, this is not ME! If it were me I would say so, I have never been afraid to be honest about who I am. So just to clarify, this is not my situation, I simply wanted opinions on this so I can discuss with the person that is going through this.
What gray area!? THis is so NOT cool. You dont put you profile back up because you like to read your inbox! I mean say something "good" comes up are you just going to move on and delete!? Then whats the point of going back up! this total absolute crap! Kick him to the curb! Sorry so harsh but I have been there =(
ReplyDeleteWell I think that if they're not in a serious relationship yet & still in the fun dating phase, this should be okay. It didn't seem like she deleted her profile either, so it seems as though the guy is thinking why delete it if she still has her profile there.
ReplyDeleteI don't know.. is it any worse than having an active Facebook account?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's even less threatening than a Facebook account because on Facebook they're probably friends with their ex's and highschool crushes, whereas the online dating thing it's all strangers who may well be in other states.
Sounds to me like he enjoys her, but wants to keep his options open. H
ReplyDeletee's not that serious about her, then.
She should keep her profile open as well...cause she likes to check her inbox too...why not?
It kind of sounds like it was a little bit too much too soon (spending three straight days together at the beginning of a relationship, that's a bit much, imo).
ReplyDeleteI probably wouldn't be too bothered, if he had the profile up and never took it down when he decided to enter the relationship...but to take it down, and put it back up is kind of suspicious and I would definitely question it.
Hmm. It sounds to me like he's checking to see if someone better could come along... I think that if she likes him, she should ask if he's agreeable to 'stop searching' for now. If he says no, then she knows where they stand and she can kick him to the curb. But she should at least try to talk it out before jumping to the worst conclusion (which I totally understand), because he should be given the benefit of the doubt. But yes, this must be brought up and discussed, because otherwise you'll never know what's what.
ReplyDeleteIf it bothers her now its going to still bother her as the relationship gets more serious.I recently had an issue with a guy from plentyoffish. We talked & then met but I was just not feeling him & then he told he deleted his profile that he wanted to try to make it work & then proceeded to im me every single day. We had only met once & then he was ready to put a ring on my finger. Naturally I freaked and tried to let him down gently but then he was like I'll wait. Needless to say it was a disaster.
ReplyDeleteIf she's got issues with this guy she really needs to confront him on it now before she gets hurt or freaked out or it gets to be drama.