Loneliness....

"THE PEOPLE I MISS FROM BACK HOME"

My parents for New Year's 08-09'

My sisters each with their kids. My nephews..

My beautiful mother, the reason I know God exists and loves me..he gave me this angel of a mother......

My dad playing grandfather w/baby Isa...

"The Heart breakers"
My little Nephews

Luis Angel and Derek Isai

Well my friend just left, I wanted her to stay but she had some other engagements. She was here for about a day, if that. I am glad I got to see her though it was nice to have something familiar, someone to keep my company. I have been here for a month already and instead of things getting better I feel even more homesick. What is wrong with me? I want to be ok. I feel so lonely, I have no friends, I know no one. I spend weekends alone... I see people outside with families and friends, and I can't help but think of all my loved ones back home. This is so much tougher than I thought it would be. I want to go to church I have to find a good catholic church around here. I think I have one relatively close, I need to seriously go pray and confession would not be a bad idea at this point. I need God's guidance more than ever. I know that I am meant to be here I am here in San Antonio for a reason, my life has a purpose I am going somewhere..Please God help me focus. I can't even imagine the holidays....I don't want to. My friend is going back home to El Paso for both thanksgiving and Christmas..I wish I was going...... I miss my little nephews, my mom, my dad, Mari, my patients that I worked for.... I miss knowing were I am at in the city, my independence driving wherever I want, calling friends for late night coffee at IHOP. Buying my mom lunch, dancing with the kids, singing, walking my dog's on the track...I miss the dry El Paso weather heat... I miss the radio stations, the news..WTF? I miss everything about EL PASO!! I even miss my neighbors. Here I am lonely, I know no one, I get lost, I am afraid of the traffic..I am a stranger. I know it will be over, I know I will get accustomed to things and I will eventually meet friends, I will gain back my independence. For now though, it driving me crazy. I miss working, volunteering, doing things... I wish there was a club for new people to go make friends.. I just hope that God listens to my prayers and guides me and helps me. I feel so utterly lost, and confused.........were is my life going?