A fresh start...

So here I am in a brand new city, away from my family, lonely and awake at 7 am. I just erased a myspace account which I loved dearly and had used for 5 years, over a guy that was never even intrested in me to begin with. I find myself here again, in this place where I thought I was in control and all of the sudden I lost the upper hand, or did I ever really have it? In this place again where I feel insecure and like it was all my fault. It must have been right? I was not pretty enough, not available enough, not this not that. Why do I never blame it on them, no I always decide that it is much simpler to blame it on myself. So plans for today after being "dumped" but not really "dumped", I will clean my apartment and call in maintnance because it seems that since I moved here this place is falling to shambles....UGH! I hope I can sleep later on.........